yea...i'm bored as hell so...
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Why did Yankee Doodle name the feather in his hat Macaroni?

Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here and drink what comes out"?

Isn't Disney World just a people trap operated by a mouse?

If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

If an atheist has to go to court, do they make him swear on the Bible?

Have you ever noticed that if you rearranged the letters in mother in law, they come out to Woman Hitler?

Isn't it funny how the word 'politics' is made up of the words 'poli' meaning 'many' in Latin, and 'tics' as in 'bloodsucking creatures’?

Why isn't chocolate considered a vegetable, if chocolate comes from cocoa
beans, and all beans are a vegetable?

Why is it when we talk to God we are praying, but when God talks to us we are put into the loony bin?

Why do companies offer you "free gifts?" Since when has a gift NOT been
free?

You know the expression, "Don't quit your day job?" Well what do you say to
people that work nights?

Why do all superheroes wear spandex?

Why do people say, "You can't have your cake and eat it too"? Why would someone get cake if they can't eat it?

Why is Charlie short for Charles if they are both the same number of letters?

Why do we teach kids that violence is not the answer and then have them read about wars in school that solved America's problems?

Just what was the "Baby On Board" sign for? Did it help us decide which car not to hit in case of an accident?

If your name is Mr. Crunch, and you joined the Navy, would you eventually be Captain Crunch?

Since there is a rule that states "i" before "e" except after "c",wouldn't "science" be spelled wrong?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Quotes
"He had decided to live forever or die in the attempt." Joseph Heller.

"I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter." Winston Churchill.

"A single death is a tragedy, a million deaths is a statistic." Joseph Stalin.

Experience is the name every one gives to their mistakes. Oscar Wilde

"It always rains on tents. Rainstorms will travel thousands of miles, against prevailing winds for the opportunity to rain on a tent." Dave Barry.

"I don't care to belong to a club that accepts people like me as members."
Groucho Marx

"Human beings, who are almost unique in having the ability to learn from the experience of others, are also remarkable for their apparent disinclination to do so." Douglas Adams.

"I am free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally." WC Fields.

"I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception."
Groucho Marx

My mother said to me, "If you are a soldier, you will become a general. If you are a monk, you will become the Pope." Instead, I was a painter, and became Picasso." Pablo Picasso

"Sometimes I lie awake at night, and I ask, 'Where have I gone wrong?' Then a voice says to me, 'This is going to take more than one night.'." Charlie Brown

"There is a charm about the forbidden that makes it unspeakably diserable."
Mark Twain